Tomolo

Tomolo is my big day.
My final clinical examination as a medical student (hopefully! God provides)
and everyone kept saying, "Eleh Zack, u hv been so lucky until now.. we know u can do it lah"

I really hope i can do it well.
not as previously i did it so toyer lah due to lack of confident.plus knowledge too. but alhamdulillah i still able to pass until now.. 'Lucky' some might say as i'm one of the candidate for the laziest person ever (i think i had been highlighted this out in every entry..n i think this is the main reason sometimes i felt so stress out!) whateverlah.. I hope i always be lucky thru out my whole life, amin! =)

After all, most of us had already strive n studying like dead people, man!
i dunt want to lose my faith!

Heard some bad news from monday n tuesday people.. some didnt make it. dammit.. why cant make it easier for us. be cool people. be very cool. and calm. tour par raison!

Allah, help us!

anyway missing zetoty so badly. gula-gula kapas warna hijau muda tu T_T.

U know,I felt very weird. i really hv bad memory about bad memories. I didnt learn from my stupid mistake about being hurtd by someone else all over and over again. that's why i'm cool even with the busuk hati bcause i'm simply a forgetful person..and i was wrong to assumed everyone like that too..why cant everyone just forgive and forget? why cant just push the reset button after scanning the bad files. Kan berat bawak benda yg busuk dalam hati tu.

The reason is so simple: Life is damn too short. Seize the day, my friends..
and rite now.. i felt so hurted.
and let Allah be the best judge!

Ya Rabbi
Forgive me.
For all the sinsful act that i hv commit.
As i hv no bad intention.

Kiah dunt want to be noty noty again and again.
whatever path/act that i choose to take, i really hope it's going to take me to Allah.

5 things.

owh. aku janji 10minit je nk update blog. hehe. tak sedar diri btul ada clinical xm this wednesday. yep, after 5 years in med skool, i just realized that i'm not a nerdie nerdie. ye lah, since i was in primary/secondary skool, aku ni kaki tido n kaki tiru homework (but not exam eh..except once utk pend. agama islam..pastu ustazah aku mgamuk,then sumpah dah tak berani!). n indeed, i'm much more famous being 'hypothyroidism' in class and 'hyperthryodism' outside the class. perhaps i hv ADHD. selalu kena tegur okay dgn lecturers.

seriusly, i promise if i able to pass this xm, i would khatam lagi the oxford handbo0k during the holiday bfore kena panggil jadik houseman!!!

taggie tag by cik lawyer alak:

5 presents for myself:
1) being a competent safe doctor by next week! insyallah!! amin!!!
2) lateral-vertical-horizontal genius brain.
3) an attitude like Nabi Muhammad s.a.w
4) money.
5) dikelilingi orang2 yg baik. hadiahkan tue?

5 reasons for the above:
1) seriusly, i know life's even worst after graduation but why delay the pain?
2) because i dont hv brain like that. i need Ritalin!
3) i am soo not perfect. far from perfect. sometimes, i'm tired with my mgada2, tak sedar diri.. i want to be like Rasulullah. sape tak nak okay?
4) so i can buy a car..myvy cukup le. beli cat utk cat rumah aku (rumah mak aku, i mean). tukar gate rumah aku. beli n tanam pokok. can give money to the poor people without worries. can go travel. bole beli hadiah org kawen. boleh sponsor org lain kawen, aku boleh tumpang gumbira...boleh belanja orang. i wont be soo kedekut/ungkit. boleh sponsor adik2 aku kereta/laptop/jam/whatever zt/yis need laaa.. boleh sponsor pelacur2 bukak kedai jual baju instead dorg jual maruah....okaylaa, i just need one training nike shoe for jogging...money is never everything, i know.it can never buy happiness like most people thought...
5) supaya dapat mgawasi knakalan aku. huhu

5 impression to the ones that I admire:
1) sincere...
2) dont judge books by its cover.although 1 know 1st impression tu penting deh.
3) brave - eg brave to say no to someone that he/she loves because inni-akhafullah!..brave to tegur someone's kesalah with penuh hikmah...brave to be himself/herself...brave to be different..brave to admit mistake. brave to be martyr!
4) org2 yg hafal alquran...
5) sifat2 Rasulullah laaa in short.

Best thing HE ever did for me:
this whole life. angels around me. and all the protection that HE gave to me through out this life. and although i'm not perfect muslim, HE gave me thousand of chances to sedarkan diri ni yg tak seberapa...and i think the best thing HE ever did for me is to love me...i hope HE always do until the rest of my life..ameen!

5 greatest inventions:
1) mp3- for years bfore that, berat giller main badminton/jogging with walkman!
2) pda handphone. luv it!
3) bohler-braun skeletal traction. illizarov...ortho gadgets are sooo amazing!as prof Devnani pun superb! actually mmg superb medical invention. even cbd pun.har har har...atau cooper iucd/t-tube/ecg/abg yg celaka kuar exam haritue..
4) vitagen. antibiotic. plus anti tb drugs...chemotherapy...i love paracetamol. painkillers..it give hopes. eh, tu invention ke discoveries?
5) music. owh...i enjoyed music soo much.

5 most hated:
1) org yg p disko. kejap pakai tudung.kejap bukak tudung. perempuan kompius. minum arak. kuar dgn laki. tak solat. bzina zini. argh..tension aku...then pura2 bcakap tentang agama... perempuan murahan- amek laki org. sanggup gadai dignity kerana cinta...hello, mana maruah diri? jangan le sgt desperate. jadik lah perempuan macho, kalau jejantas kata nak tinggal..pergi mampus laa..mereka yg rugi terhadap perempuan macho yg hot tsebut. aku bukannye baik sgt sbb tu aku stress. aku tataw nk tegur depa2 ni mcne. hati aku panaaaassss aje tgk dorg. karang aku tegur, mulalah kata aku dengki bla bla...adeh.panas. panas.belajaq agama lagi baguih dari aku..adeh..adeh..
2) my toooooooooooooo lepak attitude.......mcm takde adrenaline rush.
3) my adipose tissue...nooooo, i love my lemaks.
4) when people spot how not-so-intelligent I am..dammit laaa..
5) my mood swing. my pms. only people yg knl2rapat je tau how temper I am -esp my mom n aff...tp most of the people would say how cool i act..(actually not cool lah, blur!)

tag:
1. kak yaqeen yg tak abes2 dgn bunga2 (jeles okay!)
2. awla -currently so eppily doing elective in cucms.
3. wan jamie. rockers yg kiut sesangat!
4. fariz danial yg cool tersebut..hehehe.
5. samirah yg dah jadik dr sam. hehehe..

dammit. it's almost 45minutes!!!!pjg laa tu..

p/s: happy mother's day =)
mak. i lap u!

aneh

Your Personality is Very Rare (ENFJ)

Your personality type is dramatic, expressive, proud, and demanding. Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 5% of all women and 2% of all men You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

uh-oh.
people used to meet me would said, "u'r the one of the weirdest people i hd ever met".

dan aku digelar "makhluk aneh, jgn ditegur" time p sabah 2thn lepas.

ape nie..ni yg rasa depersonalization ni. haha.otak tak btul,bontot sengal p revision kelas 8pagi smp 6ptg..mcm biasa,aku kena narcolepsy..memang aneh,aku skrg dah euphoric. elevated mood (tp aku tetap tak mgaku hypomanic atau manic pun..kgumbiraan aku adalah pilihan aku sendiri.sbb aku dah tak larat nk stress stress tgk byk byk byk giller giller giller buku yg aku tak abes bc. tatawlaaa mcne aku nk xm next week..tp aku seriusly tak larat deh nk study lagi. jerawat pun mletup2...tlg laa,houseman pun 2thn,kasik laa aku chance weih.

nk tau ape yg mbuatkan kita happy?
jadi diri sendiri. buat pilihan sendiri.dan kata org yg mn2 utk pbaiki diri kita sendiri stakat yg mampu, amek...yg kata org yg sgt mcerca, BUANG AJE. eleh,kalau org yg mgata tu bagus sgt,np tak pun.hahahahaha..tak payah nk meet expectation org. let's loose. yg penting kita kena berjasa. tu yg plg penting. tak guna keta bmw, jam rolex, muka licin, bdn slim tapi hati takde eppi.

gmbira tu pilihn. jd pilihlah kgumbiraan..
hidup mesti gum gum gum gum gum biraaaa!

okaylaa..papai. nk p study grup.huhu

stupid emos

Your Life Is Worth...

$1,239,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

I really thought my life is lagi mahal aaa...sejuta je? aku ingat dia nak tulis : tak boleh dinilai ke...

okay, okay, i am so sorry...kena marah this period of time really make me feel so mad.lagi2 hal yang kacau pride aku. mybe aku ni ego sangat. perhaps perhaps.

Sleep deprivation can cause epilepsy. others might get migraine. I got neither one but mood swing, easily irritate. How i wish I am perfect..,i dunno how am i gonna work next 3-4months with my emotional hijacking. Maybe i should go a bit far away so i wont hurt someone that i actually love.

Dammit, i still hv lots things to learn.. I really dunno how am i gonna to pass my pro xm III this time. Gotta be strong. but i know how i feel so myesal for not having serius mind and definately not hardworking attitude...

Well, apparently... i start to think how weird, abnormal and atypical human being I am after i figure out i am way too different with my friends.the way of my very simple thinking and laid back attitude... I wish i could feel special rather than a difficult person. I know life is not a matter of simple equation of mathematic. It doesnt apply easily like that. It's not penakulan mantik. it's not 1+1=2. ..

I am an impulsive person. I dont read motivation book to build rapport with other people. I dont hv any hidden agenda when i talk with anyone else. Plus, i am not out for praise anyway. I dunt care what you-you-you think about me. what do i really know, i want to live to fullest. to live in lively life

it's still hurts when someone point out your mistake and making you start to think there's no way out and wishing that you could reboot and restart your life. How you start to wish you have seriusly perfect mind. Because when we have perfect mind, perfect attitude..we'll be able to survive.even in stupid-cold-imperfect life.

No, i never commit big-big mistakes. except for yesterday when my prof said twice how I confused when I answer his questions. I really hate to appeared so stupid but i really hv short span attention. Okay, i also begin to feel fed up with my stupid emotional phase. and aku pun dah muak dgn isi2 blog ni tak abes citer pasal diri aku sendiri. sgt self-centered btul. i'm getting bored. but i start to think, this small matter pun tak boleh handle, benda2 lagi besar? How i wish i hv steel heart. Macam robot ke, at least i dunt hv this stupid emos. be patient

Well, life is indeed not perfect. but it's fair. I shall control my temper and emotional. But trust me, when u have difficult emotional -the heart of atypical-abnormal-alien heart that u urself d0 not understand yourself,it's harder than u could even think until to some extent, you will rather not to bother about it anymore perhaps..

Your EQ is 140

You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. You are warm and open. Even when life gets you down, you're unafraid of the world and its challenges.Your emotions aren't always stable, but you can go along with the ups and downs pretty well. You are comfortable with who you are. And you accept your weaknesses - as well as the weaknesses of others. While you are quite stable, you don't respond perfectly to every bad situation that comes up. But you have enough emotional intelligence to know when you need a course correction.

What's" Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

yang ni aku pelik.aku jawab seiklas yang mungkin..tapi part: i dont respond perfectly to every bad situation that comes up" ..tu mmg betul kut... huhu

This is my blog. it's up to me to write anything, including my misery. Kan dah cakap...pontianak mmg marah kalau dihalang untuk buat apa yang dia suka. plus, it's only took me 15minutes to write to ease my misery,not so much of time to compare with 2-3hours of crying-talking-counselling. i think blog helps!