it's saturday

Background music: once-dealova

I'm waiting for my mum to fetch me. It's Saturday- Fieza,yani+syikin went out to Sogo-ada sale kata mereka-me being a little bit kemut after realized how broke i am now. Well, i have to safe my money for elective posting which is next year. I'm planning to go further with asiah. Maybe abroad if I could.

It's Saturday-my little kiddo's birthday. I'm too broke to give her anything. She asked me to make her a card-handmake- but i couldnt find time. Islamic International Fair is on this weekend-my mum didnt want to go because Fariz need a new bag.

Some of my usrah mate went to forum Al-nida'..somewhere near bandar tun razak. Ustaz Mazlee Malik and Prof Farouk were the speaker. I'm so interested. I wanted to go but i had class this morning (saturday morning?) with Dr Azhar, my supervisor. Siah went back home because her sister's engagement ceremony. Leaving me with another 2guys. Nak ponteng pun tak boleh.

I had just finished the harry potter's order of the pheonix-the 5th series. I felt gloomy because Sirius Black is dead. I know i'm a little late, I had just started to read the Harry potter last 2weeks ago. Previously, i'm not interested in Harry Potter. I dont like reading novel (except for Faisal Tehrani's books)..BUt Af insist me to do so, and last 2 weeks I managed to finieshed 5books- Harry Potter's Prisoner of azkaban, Harry Potter's goblet of fire, John grisham's the painted house, Michael Cuningham's The Hour and mac Donald's Falling on your knee. Now, i'm reading Scoot Filtzegard's Tender is night. Well, it's an acheivement for me (for someone lazy like me). I like Mac Donald's novel the most because the way of the writer wrotes very dramatically. I dont like J. W Rowling's writting but I wanted to know the ending of Harry Potter's story. Tonite, I'm going to buy Harry Potter's half prince's blood which is the last series of Harry Potter if i'm not mistaken.

However, after reading Kaplan&Saddock's pocket psychiatric and having lecture about schizophrenia, mood disorder, depression and etc did make me realizing how people love to fantasized. To me, there's nothing wrong with day-dreaming as long as it doesnt take so much of our precious time. and keeping our sane is so damn important!

To make a good novel-the writers have to go beyond the normal people could go. but then again, i think i rather reading non-fantasy. it's weird how my mind kept saying if I meet the people like Harry Porter, I would say they have suffered schizophrenic.Haha, it's just a story but that is when i looked in my own situation.

I had met several people who had suffered from schizophrenic. Pity them. I could not imaging my life as being one of them. Some of them had achieved in their life(in our culture's context-being an engineer, study abroad, got PHD)..In their past year, they were very successful. Now, they couldnt take care of themselves.

Schizophrenia is a group of disorder which there is disturbance of thinking accompany with disturbanced of behaviour, affects, receptive and psychomotor activity. It's 1% of the world's population but i had seen much nowdays. It's very sad situation because the schizo patients are not intact with the reality. They have hallucination, delusion (false fixed belied which is not shared by others in the same background), disorganized speech, disorganized behavior).

Kurt Scneider's first rank mention that schizophrenic's symptoms are:

1. 3 auditory halucination (running comentary to the patient, voices repeating thought out load, and discussing the patient as a subject)--tension tak? mereka mendengar suara yang sebenarnya tak wujud)
2. 3 made-made feeling, made impulse and made action--they felt like being possesion, macam robot pulak rasanya kot
3. 3 thought of alienation- thought of withdrawal(fikiran kena amik), thought of insertion(dorang rasa macam ada sesuatu yang tolong fikirkan utk mereka) and thought of broadcasting(dorang rasa kantoi laa,orang boleh baca fikiran mereka)
4. somatic passivity (dorang rasa macam ada seesuatu yang sentuh/menyakitkan mereka tapi sebenarnya takde ape2..eg.ulat masuk mata)
5. delusion perception (dorang tersalah interpret)

Orang gila-that's what people used to call them. We shouldnt blame them. They couldnt think. they kept hearing voices. They suffered a lot than we could imaging. Go and watch The Beautiful Mind.

There is treatement for it althought the patient often not fully recovered. Family support, community support are very important to the patient. Nonetheless, the patient should be compliance to the antipsychotic drugs.

After a meeting with a schizophenic patient, I felt sorry for them. He is still young and healty malay man. If he wasnt in Psychiatry ward, i couldnt guess that he's schizophenic patient. He talked as if he was giving me a sermon-like a ustaz-he could even recite hadis and alquran very well in front of us with confident. He claimed he did not have any mental illness which this indicated that he had very bad insight of his illness. His father send him to psychiatric ward because he kept saying he's Imam Mahdi-the most powerful imam of the world(he claimed that also). he claimed he had supernatural power such as talking to the angels, demons and all those things. He said that he was out to fight the evil power-dragons and monsters, however his father found him wandering around with dirty white jubah and serban. He was having halucination and also delusion-Dont be suprise, he's an engineer-degree holder and had very stable position in a company.

I remember prof azhar had warned us, sometimes when the people too fanatic to their jemaah, they couldnt even figure it out that their leader had schizophenia. They think their leader some of supernatural power, mukzijat,wahyu and everything as their leader claimed he has this and that-i'm not saying that all the jemaah cannot be trusted but just beware of this kinda person. Islam itu mudah, jangan susahkan diri-

If in our culture-'kena buatan orang nie'. It's true, in Islam we ought to trust the unseen-benda2 ghaib. But have we all wonder why in Rasulullah's time, there was not much of witch-wizard thingy? And why do we live in fear-minta izin dengan pokok kalau dalam hutan as if the ghost conquered it all? Beradap di mana2 sahaja tapi jangan sampai bertuhankan makhluk tuhan. Some of the people are afraid of the ghost rather than fear to our own GOD. Sometimes, people afraid to stand up for the truth because dont want to cause people to bewithed them.

Do we all forget that we have The most mightiful- ALLAH? Allah Akbar!