dEpression

I'm nervous.
Why?because my first major posting for 4th year is psychiatric. To be honest, intially i wanted to be a psychologist but my brother asked me to aim higher than that, then i wanted to be psychiatric. and i'm so nervous. Because i'm so afraid if i fall asleep even in my suppose-to-be-favourite posting. okay, i had bought kaplan&saddock's pocket psychiatry even before the school open. I'm eager to learn but in the same time, i'm afraid if i couldnt answer lecturer's question.

Yesterday was my second day of psychiatry-dah kena marah dengan major depression patient sebab dia nampak aku pegang ticket pesakit. Not to mention those male patients tried to flirt with us. takot!

Depression
I had read Elizabeth Wutzel's prozac nation. A young talented girl who suffered depression. She's a jewish but not living as own. Her parents divorced when she was young. She claimed that all those absurd feeling was inside of her and she couldnt help herself.

Depression sucked out our energy. It's wasted energy.

Yes, you can blame all those things-your past, broken family, fate, friends, enviroment, lack of love and social support. everything. But, it's your life. you control your own life. Bear in mind, we couldnt get everything that we wanted. We planned but God decide. Whatever happens, it's not how much successful our plan is but it's how we react.

it's normal to be depressed sometimes. Feeling sad and gloomy are allowed but it's for certain period only. It's became worse when there's impaired function.

suicide ideation affects 60% of depressed patients and 15% commit suicide.

Depressed people need help. Go get help!

Happiness
The reason why i think i like psychiatric because i believe i have abilities to make people happy because i'm very happy person. And I realized to be a happy person,i forget thousand things. Sadness dimished inside of me. i'm very forgetful person, and sometimes it leads me to depression status. but then again, i forget how depress i was--then i became happy again.

But the main important reason why i'm happy because i choose to be happy. I choose to be contented regardless how bad my life is. I know i done lots of mistake. Maybe billions and zillions. I learn to forgive myself. I learn to find forgiveness of others. and the most important is to seek forgiveness to Allah SWT.

Being A muslim
Alhamdulillah, I'm a muslim. I reckon this is the greatest thing happens in my life. I couldnt imaging my life without knowing my own GOD. It's cover everthing!

Spiritual had huge effect in human being life. There wont be a person in this world could understand us 100%. Even ourselves. People dont understand us. Even our own family, best friend, or even our lover. How many time we fight with our family, neighbours, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends,lecturers or even ourselves? I found myself complicated and it's normal to argue with ourselves. the only things we could 'pretend' to understand people because of we compromise with each others.

Imagine this, to whom that we wanted to say our gratitude, our sadness, our everything if not own GOD?

Allah know us better. HE is the most Knowledgeble.
HE never leave us. We are the one who left HIM.