Change

I think it's time for me to grow up and change. Well, we did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves.

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not. Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix.

I know i had been talking about changing myself every year (esp September), not that i felt that i'm that bad [but i'm quite bad =( ]..but then, there's always room for improvement,rite?I'm totally disagree with some of people who claimed that they had enough of Islamic teaching in their school. We never could finish it until end of our life.

So u are not bother to change?why?because u'r in comfort zone?u'r good enough?so, dont u think it's such a boring life (as if u'r stuck in level 1 for counter strike!)

If we keep tell the time to wait until we are ready to change, obviously we could never able to change! I mean, imagine that tomorrow is when Malaikat Maut is going to take your life, how would u be so ready? What happen if u think u find someone is so damn special and surely u never want to let him/her go,do u think u have enough time to be a better person for him/her to decide u're the companion in heaven?

What change would make u good person?
Obviously, i am not a good person but i'm so sure that whatever changes that we make in our life, it's fine as long as we follow Allah's way of life.rite?

Allah provides!
amin!

nothing else matter. 19th

19th of august 2007.

I was confused. Big day everyone dat is eventually *important* for me. At last I made decision. Not that u guys not important, and i want u guys to know, how 'significant' u guys in my life!

Dr Zubaidah's wedding at Raub
My fellowship of the ring cum my personal psychologist. Kalau aku free, memang aku turun padang ke Raub tau.. Kolej mohamad raub pun sanggup aku pergi. She is special.suka giller tolong orang.perhaps lots of ppl didnt knw, i like to seek for her advice. Cool giller, cuma turun je bilik aku, boleh lepak2 dan abeskan makann chipsmore dia...best sih! herm...tapi apa kan daya....

UTM graduation day

singapore trip:meha,nani & i

Meha and geng berlapan dia are graduating on this day. They were my companions during my 'boring' elective posting back in JB. Meha ajak macam JB tu kat serdang atau bangi je, hampagas betul lah dia tue.. it's good to hear that she is currently working with Shell with good salary in Port dickson. perhaps one day i would turun to PD and lepark with her. Same goes to Nani, ayed, ura,ck, ainul are in telekom. jebat in cosmopoint. nik in Kelantan. nora in Panasonic. semua bright future sih!!~

Zaa's engagement day

Azma, asiah. and the 3 z's : zaa,zakiah & zead

Uhuk! Zaa invited me for the past few months ago. I was confused. why 19th? why! Zaa is my best friend that i havent met since few years ago. U know, when zead called me from ur house, uhuk. sedey sgt tau! giller rindu kat kau....bile aku ada peluang nak mgutuk kau secara terbuka...

Zaa & anas :gambar dulukala.

Kenduri kawen abang kepada fana in Kedah
this is a huge event. Fana, i had cancelled my sunathon trip at first to make sure that i'm going to Kedah with our superb friends-azie,shen and Fit. I imagined how great and fun travel to the north together. i even dream about it! Aku mesti gaduh dgn Fit. Azie pun mesti kasi sokongan pada ptengkaran. Shena mesti bebel suruh stop sementara Fana cuma gelak2 aje. However, after several consideration, I had to make decision not to go with u guys. Gosh, u know how severally i became. I know, I was the usual missing friend in the grup and i do feel miserable. I love u guys...uhuk!

Raya bile ntah: aku, fit, shen, fana & azie...

Sunathon 2007

Sunathon 2006: sabah. geng upm dan rsmu

herm.zharif is the project manager. Obviously, i wanted to join this programme. Lagi2 geng2 nabil, layla dan dinie ada. Sedih tau. lagi2 i was confused dat time. Iyelah, kena amek cuti kalau nk pergi. dhah laa time tu, it was urologi cycle. Uhuk, Mr Mohamad memang asek mencari je anak buahnya.giller ape nak ponteng. Berat tau tak pergi. U know zharif, after having lunch with u,rosma,fieza & azma in Pizza Hut (yg aku tak bayar lagi), i was soo excited to go Sunathon eventhough i have to ponteng 2days. aku nekad btul. For the love to the ummah perhaps..! But however, i couldnt at last, to the big day in my another half. Sirius. Bukan aku nak menyusahkan korang2, tapi percayalah..kalau korg kat tmpt aku, mesti korg akan amek keputusan macam aku..uhuk. mungkin ada org kata aku ni pentingkn diri sendiri.tp trust me, there's nothing can be compare with family.

Aff's engagement day
Uhuk. Nie yang aku bengang. kasik tau paling lambat tapi aku mesti kasik keutamaan pada dia ni. Uhuk. although it is just 'tunang', but...it felt like my right whole side is bertunang. Aku memang kaki gaduh seperti kak gee kata.Atok from Johor is coming. Geng2 johor pun nak turun...mak dah turunkan perintah untuk aku dtugaskan jadik waiter utama.

Giller ape, kalau aku pentingkan kawan, persatuan, tapi aku fail untuk pentingkan family member aku sendiri. Bak kata Kementerian Pembangunan : UTAMAKAN KELUARGA!

Juara: Khalis, Mak dan aff

Jadik Khalis.mesti jaga baik2 af tue...satu family sayang dia tau!

Tadi aku dengar lagu metallica. terkesan masuk lagi nothing else matter. yeap. lagu tema family rock aku.

peer pressure

Dan orang-orang yang berkata: Ya Rabb kami, anugerahkanlah kepada kami isteri-isteri kami dan keturunan kami sebagai penyenang hati (kami), dan jadikanlah kami imam bagi orang-orang yang bertaqwa. (QS. 25:74) .

Ada sorg patient tu cerita dengan aku yang dia panggil bini dia 'safura' sebab dia kata dia main 'sapu' aje. herm.

Aku rasa aku tak perlu nak elaborate tentang kisah cinta sebelum kawen, dah banyak kisah yang berjaya menyentuk hati (uhuk!) aku dan membuatkan aku rasa bersyukur menjadi golongan minoriti ini. Kisah-kisah realiti di sekeliling aku juga membuatkan aku begitu 'takut' lalu ingin menyanyikan lagi 'because of u- kelly clarkson". aku takut. sungguh. kerana aku lihat perubahan mendadak atas nama cinta itu.

Sudah tentu, peer pressure memang suka kasi pressure kat aku. Yelah, mentang2 aku ini masih bergembira menikmati hidup aku sebagai orang bujang dan tidak perlu memikirkan masalah 'remaja dan cinta'. Tak kurang ada yang asyik menanyakan tentang mengapa aku masih single sedangkan aku kuat main internet (tak kira ym, fs atau blog), seorang extrovert (yaaa, aku memang selamba dan ramah), kuat pergi program sana sini (uhuk,aku tak rasa tu niat aku time p program), ramai kenalan laki (semua tu bussiness partner aku je. tak lebey. standard kawan pun ada 2-3 orang je.uhuk!), takdelah hodoh sangat (uhuk!apakah diri aku seperti Manjalara!?).

Aku cuma gelak aje. entah. Aku suka jawab betapa aku comotnya. Malah aku boleh hantuk papan tanda, ketawa berdekah2 dan juga bercakap penuh emosi. Aiseh, isk...mana laaa planet zurich mau! Mana ada orang yg tahan dengan ketidaklayanan aku kerana aku terlalu malas nk m'extend apa hubungan yang menakutkan.

herm, ni ada poem simple aku tulis. khas untuk orang2 yg suka mgejek aku.hahaha!

I'm single and I'm happy.
I'm living my life happily
without thinking about someone else.
My happiness doesnot depent on someone else.
i dont need to please people.
it's my heart to be choose
and it's Allah who deserved to be contented.

I choose to be single.
Men dislike a women like me.
I like being myself infront of everyone else.
I dont need to pretend to be an angel
while I got much of devilish attitude.
and I did not give a damn about that.

I can wear whatever I want
as long as i like it and i'm comfortable in it.
It's up to me to wear anything
as long as Allah approved it, it would be just fine!
I dont care if i dress dreadfully
I'm okay to be to be ugly outside
because I know how beautiful am I inside.

I'm single but I'm not available
I am not to young for childish couple period
neither i am not to old and matured to get married
I had to confessd that i'm not ready
for any serius relationship
as I hate to be comit in love.
I guess the time had not come yet.

Tapi aku percaya. lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik. Begitu juga sebaliknya. Itu janji Allah, tak kan tak nak percaya kot?

"Ya Allah, segala cinta aku terletak pada yang berHAK
jika dia adalah milik cinta aku, janganlah jadikannya kotor dengan maksiat.

Ya Allah, KAU pun tau kemampuan aku.kelemahan aku.
sesugguhnya, tidak mahu sekali2 aku terjerumus dengan kebodohan hawa nafsu biarpun hati aku terguris.
aku mohon, dengan belas kasihan dengan penuh rasa takut, aku mohon untuk jadikan sesuatu perhubungan yang KAU sendiri redhai!

jika memang benarlah dialah teman setia di dunia dan syurga.
jika memang benarlah dialah yang mendidik zuriat2 menjadi pejuang Islam.
jika memang benarlah dialah yang menjaga kebajikan kedua ibu bapa kami.
Jika memang dia adalah orangnya.
Dialah penenangku tika aku kusut.
Akulah penghiburnya tika dia murung.
dialah ketua sedangkan aku pengikut yang patuh.
Dialah Ali, sedangkan aku fatimah
tiada doa selain doa untuk jauhkan kami dari fitnah dunia.
tiada doa selain menjadikan hubungan kami hubungan yang diredhaiMU

Jika tiada apa-apa yang terjadi diantara aku dan dia.
tiada doa selain doa untuk hilangkan perasaanku

tiada doa selain untuk menjauhkan dari segala hawa nafsu.

sesungguhnya.
ALLAH adalah matlamat kami